Listed below are the disorder ingredients to my mental soup. Click one for a brief blurb on it.
I’d like to preface them by saying that none of these are conjecture. They were diagnosed by a psychiatrist working in the region’s mental health center. (They don’t call it a hospital anymore, I’m not really sure why.)
That said, these conditions have no doubt evolved since they were first determined. At this time, the list is likely incomplete and out of date. The point of listing them is to give a clearer picture of what I have been trying to cope with for roughly 25 years. Also to illustrate how soupy it has become.
ADHD – Attention-Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder
This one was confusing when I first learned about it. I didn’t know about the types there were. Incidentally, I am “inattentive type,” which means that for the most part you can take the H out of the abbreviation. It connected a lot of dots for me in terms of my trouble focusing. I have spent my share of time sitting, staring at nothing, with the only thought coming to mind being: “I can’t think, I can’t think.”
GAD – Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Something that’s been part of my soup since I was about 11 years old. I also had my first panic attack at that age. It’s been a very disabling element in my life, causing a lot of the maladaptive coping methods that I have developed.
MDD – Major Depressive Disorder
This was the first one added to the list. It’s one of the most difficult to get people to validate in their own minds. The two sharpest jabs are the common replies: “Everyone gets depressed.” and “You don’t seem sad!” They can be perfectly true and still perfectly miss the point.
PMDD – Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder
Another one that can be hard to acknowledge. In essence, it feels like a special pit of despair that you fall into, not for any specific reason, but because it’s a monthly imperative.
SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder
The winter blues? Sort of. But more like the time change brain-drain. It occurs at the beginning and end of the season, and it is a vampire sucking out your motivation, your mood, your energy and your optimism.
For more of my personal take on living with them, click here to check out Mental Soup in the Journal Section.
(Coming soonish, sorry for the dead buttons)
For more general information on these disorders:
atypical alphabet soup 